Review: De Bruine Zeemeermin by Annel de Nore

De Bruine Zeemeermin (the brown mermaid) is a swirling Caribbean Surniaamse novel about a family. The chapters, are each written from a different perspective, they tell a somewhat melancholy story of several women whose histories are closely intertwined. Each of them has their own way of dealing with the traditional unwritten laws of the 'system' of sexual infidelity and women their spouses are cheating on with. The central figure is Ingrid, a woman trapped in a relationship with a man who mistreats her. Marjorie, her daughter, suffers most as a child and shuts herself off emotionally to protect herself. When she discovers that her mother had a secret love , it causes a turning point in her life

Reviewed - 2012

What I love about this book is how the story is divided into 10 parts (relatively short). Each part is told from one of the women's perspective. There are three women and we get to read their experiences as they fulfil different roles in their lives. We read Marjory's story as a child and later as a woman. Ingrid's story as a woman, an aunt and mother.  

Ingrid's husband often gets drunk and comes home and abuses her. This has happened countless times. This time she leaves and takes her children with her. Marjory (her daughter)  she leaves with her brother and wife, her son she takes with her to her other brother.  She always gets a lot of support from her family. Her brother Roy has had enough and wants her to get a divorce. Ingrid stays at her brother Frankie's and experiences the luxury of not having to clean a house or watch the children. A second of not being a housewife, instead of just being alone with herself. In the end, Ingrid goes back to her husband, who promises not to drink anymore.  I don't understand this or why so many women always go back.

Ingrid's decision to move back in with her husband ruins her relationship with her daughter. Marjory never forgives her father and never understood why her mother chose to go back. The family is back together, yet there's so much guilt and loneliness. Marjory grows up then leaves for the Netherlands. She's become an independent woman and would like to stay that way.

The book is written in a very simple way that's easy to follow. I loved the story about the mermaid. 

Some of the parts started with excerpts from other books about feminism or women in general. Some of those excerpts confused me.

"She was created to be the toy of man, his rattle, and it must jingle in his ear whenever, dismissing reason, he chooses to be amused" Mary Wollstnoecraft, " A Vindication of the Rights of Women',

"I'm admired because I do everything right. I cook, sew, knit, talk, work and fuck right. So I am a valuable post. Without me, he would suffer. With him, I'm alone"  Christine Billson, "You Can Touch Me"

Ingrid gives up being happy to go back and live with her abusive husband. I don't understand , I don't think I'll ever understand her sacrifice. Did she do it for her children? who grew up resenting her and avoiding her, emotionally.  Did she do it because she still loved her husband? who promised not to drink anymore but still ended up dying of liver cancer? I think she made the wrong decision. A divorce would have been better. 

Revisiting "De Bruine Zeemeermin"

2018 thoughts

The review above was written in 2012, I was probably 21 years old. I'm now 26,  looking back at the things that confused me and the questions I had, I see I was pretty naive and selfish. 

One of the things I loved about the narration of this story was the intersectionality of the perspectives. Not only were we hearing the story of a wife leaving her husband we were looking at a woman's story, a wife's story, a mother, daughters and sisters story. Three different women, different perspectives. However, as layered as the narration and characters were, experiences and accounts of abusive relationships are just as layered. A lot of things play a role when answering the questions "why did she stay". It's not always one reason and it's not always an easy choice to make. 

Saying things like "I think she made a wrong decision", "I don't understand why she would stay", "she's a moron". This doesn't help the situation or encourage women facing this to speak up or to make the choice to leave.  There's a selfishness to these questions as well. In the sense that when I say "She should have left" aren't I saying "I wouldn't be stupid to end up in that situation or to stay in that situation". To stand safely so far away from the violence and pain and make judgements about what a person should do and what they shouldn't do.



_7/10